The New Aggressive Couch!

Do you feel severe cramping and intense nausea?  Has your wife moved out of the house but your father in law hasn’t?  Did your velociraptor maim your neighbor’s mastodon?  Do you have a ‘swishy’ walk?  Well, booze up and riot with the new 40 oz malt Couch!

Time Traveling Chaplin: A promo for the Back to the Future reboot?

Football Duty: Most pro athletes aren’t from their team’s home city.  Paula Poundstone said that pro athletes should be selected like jurors.

Christmastime for Schmucks: If you buy your five year old an iPad you deserve to be tased.

Who is to Blame: Too much scrapegoating, not enough fixing.

Metric Metrics: If we can’t convert to metric, can we at least get everyone else to go back to English units?

Facebook – Worse than Crack?: Is shit like Facebook and texting really worse for kids than glue sniffing and fistfights?  We disagree.

I Resist the Temptation to Call This Segment “Pocket Pool”: Our ideas for portable smartphone games.

SO DRINK YOUR COUCH – IT’S LIKE DRINKING A RODENT!

Tags: aggressive fisting, back to the future, christmas, facebook, football, iPad, iPhone, jury duty, metric, portable games, scapegoat, texting

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