Nemesis
I was thinking about Ron’s “secret menu” post, and how much funnier he is, when I started thinking about Grimace. Exactly what is Grimace, anyway? Before you launch into some naive anti-capitalist diatribe, let me be clear – nobody cares about your “daddy issues”, ok? I just want to know what the hell he is before I cut him up and run him through the juicer.
Moldy pear? Giant prune? Gay-pride themed Hershey’s Kiss?
For kicks I looked him up on Wikipedia. The source of all truthful knowledge. But, it is wrong. If you look into his soul less dead eyes. You can tell he has a heart of evil. Luckily for humanity he was blended up.